Happy Birthday to You....Happy Birthday To You....

...Happy Birthday Dear Lying, Cheating, Home Wrecking, Whore
...Happy Birthday to you.

After the the threat of divorce came to light, things sort of seemed to get a bit better, not by much, but maybe a little. There was even a moment when I thought we might make it, but then I awoke from my dream state when reality smacked me upside the head. I thought there were signs that things were getting better, but the only thing that had gotten better was Dick's ability to cover his tracks. After catching him with Charlot twice I guess he finally realized who he was dealing with or how far I was willing to go in my efforts to know the truth. There wasn't a line I wouldn't cross to figure out what he was doing, where he was going or who he was with. One night in December, I spent 3 hours sitting in my car at the mall staking out his car. He told me he was, get this...shopping...at "DICKS"...a sporting goods store. I didn't believe him, so I went to see for myself. When I got there and saw his car, I still didn't believe he was there so I went into DICKS to look for him. He wasn't there. There were no drinking establishments in the mall anymore so the only other place he might have been was Sears, that was my next stop. No Dick in Sears, no Dick in DICKS...no big surprise. I waited in the car until he showed up. He appeared in the parking lot as if out of thin air. I had been watching the door, he never came out of it, yet suddenly there he was walking towards his car...without a single shopping bag from any store. I was confused for a bit, but then I saw it...her car...little white Volvo 360 licence plate number 69X G86...driving away. Ingenious! I thought. He parks his car here, goes into the mall, she picks him up at another door and off they go. I was almost impressed with his inventiveness. This was something I would have thought of, not him. I didn't think he had it in him. Then it dawned on me...she must have come up with this scenario because I knew he just wasn't that smart. This is an example of the lengths I would go to spoil his fun. Some part of him had to know that no matter where he went or how well he tried to cover his tracks, there was always the chance that I would find out. And still, even knowing that, he just couldn't stay away from her. She must be one hell of a good bartender...nudge,nudge...wink,wink...know-what-I-mean? I never could figure out exactly why he was willing to risk losing half of everything he had by continuing his relationship with her. It was just like his relationship with Bud E. Wiser...he couldn't stop himself, even if he knew he should, he couldn't. It was either an addiction of sorts, or he really didn't think I had the balls to ever divorce him. Whichever it was, it didn't really matter. All it did was make my decision easier in the end.

Okay...back to the reason for the title of this post, Charlot's birthday. Because of my Internet investigating I knew when her birthday was. My thought was that if he didn't see her that night, then maybe, just maybe we had a chance. It was a test of sorts, and Dick failed miserably. It was a Thursday night so off he went to his Karate class. When I returned home at around 9 p.m. Dick was not home. Upon further investigation I noticed the bag he always took with him was not home either. One thing about Dick is when it comes to his personal hygiene habits, he never, ever deviates from the norm. He always came home and showered after Karate before he went out anywhere, even if it was to just hang out at Harry's. This meant that Dick never went to Karate, he just wanted it to look like he did. This also meant that I turned myself around, got back in my car and went to look for him...and her I assumed. After checking out a few of their regular meeting places with no luck, on a whim I went to a restaurant, Robby D's, that I remembered him being at when I was using the GPS tracker. It was just down the street from Charlot's house so I passed by there first. Neither one of their cars were at her house or nearby. But, when I got to Robby D's the first thing I noticed was Charolt's Volvo. I didn't see Dick's car, until I drove around to the other parking lot at the back entrance. I remember how my stomach felt, like it wanted to exit my body any way it could. I started to shake. I couldn't think straight. I parked. I needed to calm down and regain my focus. My body had betrayed me. I thought I was "dealing" quite well with Dick's affair, but apparently I was not. I was so good at hiding my true feelings from those around me that I was even able to hide them from myself. I began questioning myself. Do I really want to go in there and see them together again? If I do I have to be prepared to deal with whatever I see and feel. Am I up for that? Ready or not, off I went. My heart was pounding so hard I could hardly hear anything else. I felt like my head had disconnected from my body and was floating on its own. It was very surreal. I poked my head around the corner at the end of the back entrance hall and there they were, sitting at the bar. They looked like the picture perfect happy couple all smiling and laughing. I wanted to throw up. I turned to leave, got as far as the door and stopped. "NO"...I said to myself..."There is no way that bitch is going to have a happy birthday. Not this year." I walked back into the dinning room to the front of the bar area and came up behind them. They never saw me coming. I positioned myself between the two of them, put an arm around each one and said "Hi guys, what's happening?" Dick said nothing, did nothing, but exhale loudly as in defeat. Charlot on the other hand tried to engage me in conversation. "We're just sittin' here havin' a drink...would you like to join us?" Was she freakin' serious? "We just ordered a pizza, there's plenty." Oh my God, she is serious! "Hmm...ya...thanks, but no." I said, "What I'd really like, though, is for Dick to make up his mind." "About what?" she said. "About you...and me." I answered. She looked confused..."I don't understand." "Well...Its really pretty simple. Dick needs to decide whether he wants to stay married to me or continue screwing around with you." Now she looked appalled, "What?" "And, frankly, at this point I really don't give a shit what he decides, he just needs to make the decision. He can't do both...not any more...'cause I've had enough." "But I told before," she said, "we're just friends." "Ya...with benefits!" I said. "Why do you keep saying that?" she said, faining innocence, "There is nothing going on between us...we just hang out and talk." It was at that moment that I realized she had no idea that he had admitted it to me. He never told her that I knew the truth. He couldn't have or she would persist in being so adamant about their "friendship"...what would be the point? So there he was just sitting there, sipping on his beer, (God forbid anything get in the way of that)not saying a word. He just let her make an ass out of herself trying to convince me of their innocence knowing that I knew she was lying. Poor, stupid woman...you deserve each other I thought to myself. Then she said something about us (Dick and I) needing to talk and that she should go. But, I told her there was no need for her to leave because I was leaving. There was nothing more for Dick and I to talk about. Then I slapped her on the back saying.."Oh, by the way...Happy birthday!" She just stared at me and all she could say was "Uh...thank you." with a strange look on her face. I think it was fear. I know she was wondering how I knew it was her birthday and I know it made her very uneasy. At this point I was afraid of saying anything more because I didn't know if I could continue to control myself. I didn't want to lose it in public and make a scene...or throw up, which I felt like doing the whole time. I probably should have though...nothing says Happy birthday like your boyfriends wife barfing all over you does. That certainly would have made it one she would never forget. But instead I just left. So much for thinking we had a chance.