Well, the only excuse I have for letting so much time go by since I last posted is...I've been busy. Going to college has been taking up a lot of time, but I love it, so that's just the way it’s gonna be until my name is on that degree. By the way, that name will be the one I was given at birth, not the name I took when I became Mrs. DICK. So, how is the former Mrs. Dick? I’m just fine and dandy most of the time. I still have moments when I want to run him down with my car, but they pass and my life moves on. Luckily I have not been anywhere near him or in my car when one of those moments has occurred.
In my last post of November 2010, I mentioned a little Facebook rant I had. I suppose you are all wondering if Dick’s family ever got the message about his extra-marital activities. The answer to that would be no. Apparently Facebook does not have the power I thought it did, at least not in this case. I never heard from a word from him, and I know that if he knew what I had posted, he would have called me…or his lawyer, who, by the way, is now a judge and presides over cases like ours and where he can tell plaintiffs and defendants like Dick what morons they are. I like to think it was his reward for having to put up with Dick being his client. I suppose I could assume that in his new life, Dick has learned to take the high road and not let petty things like my airing his very dirty laundry on Facebook bother him. Then again, as far as I know hell has not frozen over. I also haven’t seen any pigs flying around lately and bears do still shit in the woods, so I’m pretty sure that I can instead conclude that he never found out about my posts on Facebook. No matter, it just gives me something to look forward to. It will be much more fun to tell one of them in person someday, just so I can see their reaction.
I started out the New Year with my old name. Actually I should refer to it as “my name”, not my “old name.” It is just one of the many pieces of “me” that I put aside when I became Dick’s wife. I misplaced a lot of those pieces along the way, but every now and then one of them turns up and I put it back where it belongs and I feel a bit more whole. Twenty five plus years ago I replaced my last name with his last name. Six months after our divorce was final I decided it was time to hit the “backspace” key and delete the link to Dick. It would have been wonderful if it were that simple…highlight…delete…poof…gone. Unfortunately it turned out to be quite a long and tedious process to change my name, but in the end it was well worth the effort. Every time I take out a credit card or my license and see my name on it, I smile. When the mail arrives, it bears my name, and even if it’s a bill, I smile. I get such a kick out of signing my name that I breathe a sigh of contentment when I look at it, and I smile. I know it’s a bit silly, but I can’t help it. Every time I see it, say it or sign it, there is this little voice in my head singing “I’m ba-ack!!”
At first I didn’t think it was all that important to go the extra mile and take back my maiden name. I was weary from 14 months of divorce proceedings all the crap that went along with it. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with anything else that had to do with me not being Mrs. Dick. After a while I noticed that whenever I had to tell someone my name, saying it left a bad taste in my mouth. Hearing someone else refer to me using it caused a “nails on the chalkboard” reaction in me. Eventually it just felt wrong, like I was lying. That’s when I knew it was time to put one very big piece of “me” back in its place.
At the time Dick and I married, keeping your maiden name was not as common as it is now. I changed my last name to his because I was his wife, but mostly because I very much wanted his name to be mine. The day we were joined together as husband and wife, I truly believed that it would be “until we are parted by death,”… silly…silly me. I took those vows very seriously. I just wasn’t aware that Dick…did not. I didn’t have any delusions that marriage was going to be a cake walk, but I never thought it would turn out the way it did. I truly believed that I would die being Mrs. Dick. Fortunately it never came to that. I don't recall there having been any big deal about changing my last name when we were married. I really don’t remember doing it. Divorcing him was extremely complicated, exhausting and just plain annoying; I have no idea why I ever thought that getting rid of his name would be any different. I guess that just goes to show that I am forever full of hope in my new life. It was quite an undertaking to get “my” name back, involving trips to the court house, the Social Security Office, the Registry of Motor Vehicles and the bank. On top of that I had to contact my insurance company, my doctors, AAA, credit card people, cellphone carrier and, well, you get the picture. This process started back in December 2010 and the last change was made in April at the college I am attending. After it was finally done, the entire name change experience was filed in the "Pain-in-the-ass" folder; right along with all the other Dick associated files.
