So, Happy To Make Your Acquaintance...

Okay...the burning question of the hour is..."What happened that night?" Part of the answer is that everything I suspected was confirmed. I had every detail correct. My husband had a girlfriend who was a bartender that he had been seeing for at least six months. How did I know this was all true? Well, that is the other part of the answer..."she" told me. That was the night that I got to meet Ms. Charlot face to face. When Dick left Harry and Dom that night he went to see her at The European. Around 1:00 AM I saw the red dot start to move across my monitor. It looked as though he was heading home, so I just sat there and watched. The dot stopped at an intersection and stayed there...for a good 10 minutes. Hmmm...this is not a good sign, I thought. He should have been on the move by now. I knew that the Snitch didn't have pin-point accuracy, but it was usually right on or pretty dam close, so I was a bit concerned when it showed the car not moving. I figured he had either passed out at the wheel waiting for the light to turn green, been in an accident, or been pulled over by the police and was at that moment being given a field sobriety test. I was hoping it was the police, and I didn't want to miss that, so I got in mom's car and headed toward the location of the little red dot. As I approached the intersection I saw no accident, no police car, no car...nothing. I figured that the Snitch had malfunctioned and he was probably already home by now. I pulled up to the lights and as I looked to my left to turn I saw them...Dick and Charlot. They stood there in the parking lot across the street outside their cars, chatting. I panicked and drove straight through the intersection instead of turning. There was no one else one the road and I was afraid that he might see me. I drove down the street a bit and pulled over. I was shaking. I didn't know what to do. Then it hit me. What the hell am I worried about? Why should I care if he sees me? In fact, I think he should see me! I turned the car around and dove straight into that parking lot, right up to them. As I rolled the window down Dick looked right at me, crossed his arms, leaned back against the car and said "Wha'sup?". He was absolutely plastered. That was all he said the entire time I was there. He let Charlot do all the talking. Our conversation went like this:
(Aside from my first initial outburst, I was very calm for the rest of it)


ME: I knew it!! I just F#@king knew it!!

CHARLOT: Whoa...wait a minute...(She put out her cigarette and approach me with her freakin' hand extended)...Oh, are you Betty?

ME: Why yes I am, and you must be Charlot...Charlot Babylon?

CHARLOT: Um...ya...( she was a little freaked out that I knew her name)...I'm so happy to finally meet you.

ME: Well, I wish I could say the same for you.

CHARLOT: Why would you say that?

ME: Oh, I don't know...because you're sleeping with my husband.

CHARLOT: What? (she said trying to look aghast) Dick and I are just friends. He hangs out where I work. I'm a bartender.

ME: Yes I know, at The European.
( Again she looked a little nervous that I knew where she worked)

CHARLOT: We're just talking here. I was telling him that he drinks too much.

ME: You'll get no argument from me there.

CHARLOT: He just needs someone to talk to.

ME: Ya, he has a wife, oh, but you already knew that, didn't you. And yet you still slept with him.

CHARLOT: Why would you say that?

ME: Because its true. And you can stand here and deny it all you want, but you know its true.

CHARLOT: Haven't you ever had a friend of the opposite sex that you could confide in?

ME: As a matter of fact, I do...but not one that I've kept secret from my husband for SIX MONTHS!

CHARLOT: I'm engaged...I have two kids...

ME: Ya, I know. How are Diane and Jarred?
(That did it for her. The fact that I knew the names of her children made her want to run.)

CHARLOT: I have to go...its late and you two need to talk.

With that, she got in her car and drove off, leaving Dick still leaning against the car with his arms crossed. The man never uttered a word the whole time Charlot and I were "talking". He just stood there with that stupid look on his face that always made me want to slap him. I don't think he could process what was happening in his drunken stupor. I started to get out of the car and go over to him, but before I could get there he was in his car driving away. I honestly don't know how he made it home in one piece. By the time I got there he was in the house already heading upstairs. I didn't know what I was going to say to him, how I was going to handle this or what was going to happen next. All I knew was it was time for Dick to face the music. He wanted to dance...it was time to pay the fiddler.